I'm a Freak

I always wanted to be normal. Actually, I think I am. When I am alone I cook food, eat and watch TV with no incident. It’s when I’m out in public or onstage I become a freak. I can’t help this. I can’t escape it. It’s me. So, now my tune is changing. Why not go with it? And now, I am.

On stage I was tight and nervous. Just trying to be liked. I didn't want to let myself go. Now, I am going for it. Being the freak I am, trying to stand out. Not everyone is going to like me, but I can’t care.

Last night on stage these hillbillies from the south walked out on me. This bald guy told me I wasn't funny. I told him I was going to jerk off on his head. Sounds juvenile but it was a major breakthrough for me. I was so comfortable I felt like I could say anything. Aww, it felt good.

A few months ago I was working with a manager who was making me work completely clean. He also wanted me to dress really conservative and bottle up the freak. If he saw my act now he would have a heart attack, but he didn't understand me. Thank God he won’t be taking 20% of my money.

I will continue to go nuts and let myself go. My mommy says what I do is heartbreaking, but she won’t be mad when I start making big money and put her into a really swanky nursing home.

Matty

Pleased To Meet Me

I never felt like I connected with the rest of the world. When I first started doing stand-up comedy I used to hate the audience. "They won't get me, fuck them," I would say.

Now I embrace the audience. For 10 minutes a night I feel the world understands me. They want to get to know me and it feels good. It’s a fix, like a drug addict needs a fix every night, I need my fix on stage. I need to let myself go. Be the goofball I am and not the quiet guy that you ignore on the street.

That’s what stand-up is to me. A deep passion of mine full of great sets and painful bombs. Full of hope for stardom and despair of empty crowds. Ok, this is sounding like a James Taylor song.

Anyway, hope y'all out in cyber land enjoy my tales of being a young comic in NYC. I got so many great stories to tell.

Matty