I Need a Prom Date

I never went to my high school prom. It’s something I regret to this day. Whether it’s a cheesy tradition, it’s still a memory I would have liked to have. My prom night, I played wiffleball in my backyard while my neighbors made fun of me for not having a prom date.

Ok, enough feeling sorry for me. Now with Stand-up comedy I get to go to the prom 10 times a year. In the wee hours of the morning the prom comes to the comedy club and a late night show is set up. Here are some certain facts about Comedy prom shows that you may not be aware of:
1. The cool kids never go. They are all getting laid and doing extacy. It’s a lot of girls who didn’t want dates or acne-ridden boys, so they relate to me.
2. They think you are a celebrity. They bring cameras, autograph books thinking you are the next Chris Rock. Little do they know, you just went to the store to buy them chips.
3. They are really stupid. That’s right. Kids are dumb. You have to really break down the jokes to them, and talk to them (one of the best prom show I ever did was to a group of kids who were all going to the Ivy Leagues). They got my stuff. Most kids in the tri-state area are headed for Nassau Community College.

When I first started doing prom shows I was so bad. But, I’ve learned some tricks to win the kids over. One time I bombed so bad the kids saw me as another teacher. I told them I was honored to perform on a special night like their prom. I’m so glad I’ll be their last memory. Then I walked off and ran to the subway.

I did a prom show this Thursday and I had so much fun. I went up at 2:30 am. They were still somewhat awake. I might get in trouble by saying this but high school girls get better looking every year. I guess the older you get the more perverted you become. Plus, I got to work on new jokes and they went well. A lot of comics won't do prom shows. They see it as a waste of time. But, the great thing about being a comic is to do well in all conditions. Prom shows aren't easy, but once you get the hang of it, nothing beats putting a smile on a 17 year old girl who would've never given you the time of day. I’ll end it at that.

Matty