COMEDY GOES ON, SO DO THE SOX

This is a day I was supposed to be used to. The season ends in dramatic, horrific fashion and I tell all my Sox friends that this is the last year I'm believing. I give up. Well it feels quite strange. They kicked the Yankees ass and on their home field where all the ghosts are supposed to be. It was certainly history.

Its on to the World Series and on to the documentary. Next week they will be taping a lot of footage of myself. It should be really good and funny. I'm going to talk to the indy-rocking dude who runs this website about putting it up. He already has his tickets to Wilco.

This is going to sound retarded but I bought new sneakers today. First time in two years. My old sneakers stunk really bad. LKike Sasquatch ran the NY marathon and then peed in them. I took them off in the shoe store to try my new shoes and they stunk so much. I felt really embarressed. But my new sneakers are quite hip. I think the ladies are going to get very excited when they see them.

Ok, lets go Sox. This one is for all the fans like myself, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck who bleed Red Sox, sleep with really hot girls and make millions of dollars. Its been a very tough life for all three of us.

MG

Won't get fooled Again

I have a free show tonight (Wednseday)8pm at Boston Comedy Club. Its a sign. I'm doing a show at Boston CC as my beloved Boston Red Sox are one game away from making history. Its game 7 vs the hated Yankees. The Sox were supposed to be dead and gone down 3-0. But heart, lotsa heart has brought them back to a tie.

Ok, I live in New York so why am I a Red Sox fan? And am I jumping on the bandwagon? My Red Sox history goes back to my grandmothers funeral in 1985. I was in Boston where my father is from. Here we are mourning my grandmother and her own brother, Maury won't stop talking about Dwight Evans.

"Dewey is a bum. He is killing this team. The Sox have to get rid of him."

Thats all I remember from the wake. There was a certain psychotic passion I wanted to be part of. The next day my dad took me to Fenway Park for the first time. Sox vs. Minnesota Twins. I remember it well. Bruce hurst lost 1-0. The Sox were pretty bad back then. But only a year later they would make it to the World Series and of course we know what happened. Don't want to talk about it.

During the late 80's and 90's I followed the Red Sox like the religion they are. I suffered through the Butch Hobson era. I put my faith in guys like Phil Planteir and Dana Keiker. Every few years they would make the playoffs and get wiped out by either the A's or Indians. There was plenty of heartbreak.

But like most Sox fans its a beautiful quest. We all know they haven't won it all since 1918. So of course it means that much more then a typical Yankee World Series win.

The Sox are like life. Sometimes you get so close to getting what you want and then a higher power comes in and keeps you in your place. It can be cruel and unfair. But there is always hope and teasing. Its like meeting the greatest girl in the world and then having her swiped away. The Red Sox is a realistic, indy flick without a happy ending. And the Yankees is a blockbuster Schwartzaneger flick where he kills the badguys, gets the girl and everyone leaves happy.

Sox fans are expecting heartbreak. But this time I want a happy ending. but whatever happens they are wonderful entertainment. When I'm depressed and the comedy biz is bringing me down. The Sox make me forget about everything as I get into the game.

I Believe.

THEY CALL HIM BIG PAPI; COMEDY AND THE RED SOX

Its 10pm and Orlando Cabrera just hit into a double play. Tim Wakefield is coming in. I give up. I have to leave. I have a comedy spot at 10:50. So I'm off to the club listening to the game on the radio. Its coming in and out. Wakefield is hanging in there and here comes the train. I get off the train and the last thing I hear is the Sox are done in the 12th. I can't take it anymore. What are the Red Sox doing to me. I love them, I'm faithful but yesterday's 12th inning thriller was crazy enough.

I arrive at the comedy club and the TV is huddled with Yankee fans. Two of them loud and proud. They feel this is it. One is a lady comic and she is quite confident that the Sox are done. Ruben Sierra is up with two on and two out. To break the mood I decide to ruin the moment.

"You know if you root for the Yankees you are voting for Bush. And if you are rooting for the Red Sox you are for Kerry."

Comedy is a liberal sport. Everyone turns around and gives me a nasty look. "Shut up you idiot, Bush hates the Yankees." says the lady comic.

2-2 to Sierra and he strikes out. The room sinks with Yankee fans frustration. Before I go on stage I like to get real silly.

"A-B-See-ya." I yell out. Its the dumbest, lamest thing you can say. I heard it when I was umpiring little league. The biggest white trash parent was screaming it everytime his son's team recorded a strike out. I get more dirty looks.

Its the bottom of the 14th. The manager of the comedy club is stunned. "This game is still going on?"

Manny Ramirez is up with a man on first. His strategy is to take a walk and leave it up to "Big Papi" David Ortiz. Ortiz won the previous game with a dramatic home run and there is that feeling he can do something special again.

"Matty, you're up in three minutes," says the MC.

"I'm not going up until after this batter." I say. I'm getting nervous. Am I nervous about going on stage? No its the Red Sox. I'm preying for a hit. My body is feeling week and numb. The mc is getting pissed. What do I do?

Ortiz keeps fouling pitches off. The mc walks away and warns me not to leave him hanging.

The pitch, and Ortiz gets jammed and hits a sinking liner into centerfield. Big Papi does it again. Two Yankee fans leave the room as I start screaming yes as I pound a bar stool like a maniac.

No time to celebrate. I run into the comedy room as the mc is ready to bring me up.

"This next comic is for the ladies. You guys might like him but he is really for the ladies."

I'm about to go on stage. Am I nervous? Not a chance. I got Big Papi confidence. I try my new joke and it totally works. I'm so pumped up from the Sox I have an awesome set. Damn I feel good.

So there is more baseball to play. Tomorrow our best pitcher tries to win while wearing a ski boot. I Believe. Sox in 7.