USHER IS So HOT

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I just got a call I'll be filming an infomercial for a pharmicutical company next week. When I auditioned, it was for the part known as 'Geekboy.' Guess I can't hide the fact. Its going to be loads of fun. The scene consists of me annoying the hell out of a receptionist at a DR.'s office and being a geek. Its very funny. i'll tell you how the filming goes. Hopefully free donuts will be provided on the set.

Besides that, here are a few things going on in my head.

I'm starting to get recognized on the street. Three random times this month has a stranger told they saw me perform. The best compliment/putdown at the same time was this lady. "When you walked on stage, I was like cool a nerd. I can enjoy this."

Yes the revolution is here. Nerds will inherit the earth.

I have an eclectic taste of bad music. In one day I lisened to a cd by OPETH, sweedish hippie, death metal that only can be appreciated by adult Dungeons and Dragons gamers. And Ween; a band that is made for drug addicts. Now if thats not a nerd, what is?

My fantasy football team is falling apart. The Williamsburg Beavers once were the kings. Now we are fighting for our playoff lives. Each week on my league's message board, I annoy everyone with cliche-ridden team speaches and use the term "heart," as if that matters in a more or less nerd sport.

Ok, thats it for now. I'll tell you all about Thursday. i can't wait. God bless bloggin was invented.

MG

MASPETH AVE.

Sunday did two good shows. One of those nights, yer timing just clicks and everything flows. Also you feel so free, that you are able to come up with new material on stage. Ok, so thats that.

I'm walking home in my neighborhood in Brooklyn and I run into this really cool guy I met in college. He happens to be best friends with one of my friends from college and from that we hit it off. He is a singer in a band and he lives with all his bandmates in the coolest pad on Maspeth Ave. he invited me over and we chilled with his roomies, their ladies and a little recreational fun.

I once booked his band (Movie Life) to play at Purchase College. (my alma mater) So they bring this opening band (Rookie Lot) too and the guys are giving me a lot of shit. There is a curfew when the show must end. I'm telling these jerk-0ffs to start playing or else the other bands will have their sets cut short. And they are just being dicks, fooling around with their instruments. I had this exchange with the guitar player.

Me- Why aren't you guys playing?

guitar douche- don't worry about it.

Me- No, I am worried.

guitar douche- don't worry about it.

Me- I am worried

asshole fuckface guitar player- don't worry about it.

Ok, that continued for five more minutes. The battle of two nitwits. I finaly gave the band a nasty lecture. I told them they could jerk me around, but if they have that attitude they will never make it in the music biz. They changed their name to 'Brand New,' and I think their last cd sold like 500,000 copies. If anybody is familiar with emo music, they are big time. Perhaps I don't know shit.

So we reminisced about that and then watched my documentary which will be on the website soon. It rocks people. I watch it all the time because I have serious problems of loving myself.

So what makes this pad so cool? Everybody sleeps in the basement and its like sleep away camp. Its a giant room with five or six beds set up. It must be weird when everyone is sleeping. I wonder if they tell ghost stories.

But I hope to be back. If I wasn't doing comedy, I'd want to be in a band. Thats my fantasy. We did have a nice chat about the similarities and differences of music and comedy. There is something about comedy, because you are all by yourself. Its not three other guys with you. Just you, and a microphone. Though Vinny, the dude from Movie Life is a damn good singer, he told me when he says something funny in between a song he gets a giant rush when the crowd explodes in laughter. Its fucking beautiful power.

MG

International House of Matty

I'm back in the city this Saturday and damn there are a lot of people in New York City. i took this really cool girl from Russia to lunch. She is originaly from the Ukrainian section so what better place to take her then the finest Ukranian Diner, Vaselka. The Russian beauty let me know Vaselka means, a place to meet and talk. Vaselka means to me a decent cup of chicken soup and really bad service.

It just so happens that Vaselka isn't too authentic because our waiter was Polish, and he hated us. his haircut sucked too. He looked like a poodle. From then, it was on to comedy where the Russian girl invited her friend from Kuwait to come see me perform. Oh, she also invited this very white girl from Connecticut who figure skates. So I did my thing on stage and it went well. I was a little rusty though. I need to go on stage everyday to be sharp. Thanksgiving threw me off dammit. Then again I'm a tough critic on myself. The girls were impressed so thats all that matters.

So now the girl from Kuwait was excited to meet all her high school friends, who were planning a Kuwaite reunion in NYC. She was so excited she was starting to hallucinate. One of those lame-o ten people tourist bikes peddled by and she thought it was her Kuwait buds. So she starts chasing it down the street and screaming. Ended up being a bunch of Asian tourists. Very embarresing.

So I end up at a karaoke bar with a whole clan of really nice Kuwait college kids. They really have embraced American culture as tears streamed down their eyes when belting out that Hoobastank ballad. It was a long day and I kept knodding off but it was really warm to see how much everyone missed each other.

Finally I had a chance to rock the mic with 'Stacy's Mom,' but I stunk so bad. I was embaressed. I'll say it now, karaoke is tougher then stand-up.

After that, my night was over. Could barely keep my eyes open. I have two shows tomorrow and I'm so excited. I guess everyday is fun. I really learned alot today. I think I'm becoming less of an ignoramus.