best things of 04

God bless all the great tourists who come to NYC for the New Years Eve, ball drop thing. They have packed the comedy clubs and I've done six shows the past two days. Lotta fun. Met awesome people from Jackson, Mississippi. They need to get the hell out of the darn red states.

Ok so here are a list of my top things from 04. I pretty much eat, sleep, and breathe comedy so ther lists are kind of short. Like I probably only saw four movies this year. One was 'Troy' and that movie sucked so bad it won't even make my top 10 list. Even though its like the only movie I saw. Ok, here we go.

MUSiC

1. Coheed and Cambria- all, they are great. love them, i don't care what people say.

2. Ween- Quebec and live dvd- the dvd is amazing. Shows how talented they are. No one knows who they are so who cares.

3. Anathema- A natural Disaster- no one knows them. but british prog metal, in case you cared.

ok, thats it, but great stuff I've heard lately are Modest Mouse, Alkaline Trio, some rap song about being from New York.

Movies- only movies i saw this year were Starsky and Hutch and Farenheit 911. So those are my top 2. Saw Troy. It was god awful. Didn't make it.

Books- Starded readind The Corrections in 03, still reading it. I've lost all attention span.

TV shows- Three best shows all on HBO. Da Ali G show, Curb your Enthusiasm, and Entourage. Viva La Bam is a lot of fun too.

Best nyc diner- goes to.... there all the same. Nevermind.

best friend- goes to Alienbrain for being weirder and more dysfunctional then me.

best gay moment- goes to my friend Ted for sitting on my bed while I was sleeping at 5 am and staring at me. Wwwweird.

best show- goes to Stuyvesent high school. Smart kids who really got it. If I went there, I might've been cool.

worst show- got booked at some bar in brooklyn with 5 crowd members. Three of the girls thought I smelled. It was comedy hell.

Most dubious unimportant achievment- being undefeated at chess amongst comics.

best fight i had- this other comic wrote a nasty blog about a friend of mine. We had serious words. If i didn't have glasses, I think he would've killed me.

worst diss by a girl- I'm on the subway holding the poll and these two girls were complaining how no cute guys were on the train. When they said that, they were looking right at me.

Craziest night- tie between vomit omolette and Stanford, CT. In Stanford I ended up at the Meisterbrau's house. Grenwich legends for all night partying. Dude, drink a beer, smoke a j, listen to Floyd.

Best blog- the one I'm writing now. Actualy check oue myblogispoop.blogspot.com very good stuff even though they dissed Coheed.


Ok, I could go on forever. Happy New year everyone. peace and love.

MG

All The Stuff I Forgot

So I did my year in review and I forgot a few things. Thats what happens when you rush through things or your brain stops working.

I forgot all about making my documentary. That was an awesome experience. If it ever came out on dvd there would be awesome bonus clips. The interview with fellow comic Mike Bochette was hysterical. He said lotsa nice, funny things. Plus there is a candid moment of us clowning around. Only on the DVD though.

I also can't forget the election and going to see Farenheit 911. I'm really down on our President W. I don't want to get into politics because, I have no qualifications except watching five minutes of news. But i really wanted Kerry to win. Its too bad he will wallow in obscurity much like Dukakis and Mondale.

i have it good though. The shit that happened in India is unbelievable. Thats like a whole American city being wiped out. I'm not going to bitch for a long time.

So I will say my friends are what keep me going. Alienbrain, thank you for a fun year and all the cool talks. Comedy is cool because you meet a hodge podge of weirdos through comedy and you are bonded by the delight of going on stage. I've met so many friends through comedy and hell they love me for being myself.

Wasn't always like that. In college i had so much trouble making friends. So i tried to act cool and everything I did backfired. One time the Super cool kid on my floor was in the crapper taking a dump. i figured i'd do something silly to show i was cool. So I went in the next stall and pretended to jerk off. i really thought he would find it funny. So he is doing his business and I'm in the next stall groaning, and going, "yes, its so big. Aww yeah, I love my dick."

i knew the cool kid knew my voice and he would find it funny and I'd win him over. Instead I was forever known as the creepy kid who got caught jerking off. I've learned now not to try. And if no one understands you, there is always an Alien Brain to understand you.

Coming up soon, my top lists of the year.

MG

2004 Year in Review

Its Christmas night, which pretty much signifies the end of 2004. Overall, it was a good year. I feel like taking a stroll down memory lane. Everyone loves programs or articles reviewing the year. So please enjoy my year in review.

JANUARY- The clock just struck midnight and I'm walking down the city streets miserable. Why do I hate to see people happy? Bars are packed and overflowed. I just want to go home and sleep. Its girls I tell ya. They break your heart. I feel lonely and sad and I realize the year can only get better.

January I was doing lots of comedy and fighting with this manager who I was working with. He wanted to put me in Cotton Dockers and a nice buttoned shirt and I wanted to be Matty. The cold war continues.

FEBRUARY- I took a two week break from comedy to act in a ten minute play I wrote. It was a great experience and a lot of fun. The play was based on this crazy night I had with this girl in college where she comes over to yell at her ex-boyfriend. The girl whom I acted with was really amazing and completely captured the character. Though there are rumors she was on coke half the time we performed. Hell, she kicked ass and thats all that matters.

After the play I was back on stage at the comedy clubs. First time I'm back up there are 8 drunk idiots and I'm like welcome back.

MARCH- It was a really fucking cold winter and March was freezing. i don't remember much about March. I'm thinking. Hmmmm, I can't think of anything. Just probably did plenty of shows. Oh well fuck it, lets move to April.

APRIL- Early April is my birthday. Went to a bar and all my friends were there. I don't usualy drink but my friends demanded I did. So I did a bunch of shots and ran out of the bar screaming, "I have a boner."

I did a show on my birthday and I completely killed. I'll remember that set. I was really on.

April also represents beginning of baseball season. The Red Sox are looking good. Little did I know what October would bring.

MAY- May represents the beginning of this blog. I was really coming into my own and having fun. As you can see from the blogs I wrote I was embracing the freak. Instead of being a wuss on stage I was really going for it. I also credit the blog for helping me on stage. I was purging my felings and not being affraid to let them out. This was a major step in my stand-up.

Every night on stage whether I did shitty or not, I felt like I was growing.

JUNE- June was the month of vomit omelette. I cleaned up vomit for two hours dammit. It stunk. But I have planty of chivalry and i don't regret it. When the weather is warm the months go fast. June was also the birth of my website and online store. The buzz was the t-shirt with my pic and of course the beautiful thong. 100% birth control. Every guy feared about going down on their girl and seeing my face in their crotch. I'm shocked it didn't make national news.

JULY- I was interviewed by Dutch radio which was loads of fun. Thanks to Micha. I'm sure all five people who listened in Holland enjoy my life as a NYC comic.
July was really fucking hot. I just know I sweated a lot. I did a fun show in Pleasentville NY, to a bunch of cool housewives. Thats all I can remember.

AUGUST- Its still really hot. Shows are going well. I did a fun show in Waterbury, Ct where everyone was five years behind the times. Couldn't even hit on the girls there because they looked like they stepped off a Bon Jovi video. Oh yeah, why did you stand me up Chanel?

SEPTEMBER- Fantasy football starts and my Williamsburg Beavers get off to a 5-1 start. Worst show I did was at a Staten Island seafood restaraunt. Best fried Calamari I ever had but damn the room was so bad for comedy. Its those gigs you show up, do your thing, get paid and leave as soon as you fucking can. Red Sox are going to the playoffs.

OCTOBER- was all about the Red Sox. They finally fucking won it all. God dammitt. I'm still stunned. I don't think it will ever happen again. Plenty of memories. Coming back to defeat the hated Yankees brang me new confidence and enthusiasm. It was a great month.

NOVEMBER- November was cool for the variety of shows I did. I did a show for high school students, a blues bar with no white people and a synogogue for a singles mixer. I did all this in the matter of two weeks. Its fun to do different audiences. Makes you work your ass off and realize that if its funny, anyone can appreciate it.

DECEMBER- The weather is quite mild and I'm enjoying it. Did a great show in Hamptons, NY with all these drunk girls. Also filmed my first commercial where I played a major geek. It was such an awesome experience and I got free donuts. Eveyday I'll continue to have fun and I'll make it happen in double O 5.

peace and happy new year everyone.

MG