I'm getting close

i'm in debt right now. Just spent my last money on killer tapes of me performing. Its more important then me eating right now. But i'm almost there. To all that has helped me out with a couple of extra bucks I appreciate it. You will be remembered. I only live once and I'm trying to live my dream. I know this girl who is a talented actress but didn't want to go through the process of struggling to make it. She went to grade school and her economic woes will be solved. But in ten years will she regret it?

I don't know what I'm saying its 3am. I love entertaining people and meeting nutty people along the way. On Tuesday night this girl made me do a Terry Shaivo joke. I did it even though it was quite tasteless, but anything for the ladies. OK, thats all I'll say, but girl (you know who you are) you are crazy.

I need to go to sleep. I'm tired I've done like fifteen shows in the past fourten days. Going to visit my parents in Woodstock tomorrow. I need a nice rest. Not to toot my own horn, but everything is coming together. Thats it for now. I need a home cooked meal and some love from Fenway the Cat.

MG

If I hear one more Michael Jackson joke...

I just might quit comedy. I can't take it. Comics if you are reading this, please stop. We all know he is guilty, looks like a freak, and loves little boys. And there is humor in that but lately the jokes have gotten so bad, its just turning my stomach. Also the same lame punchlines are rehashed over and over.
So lets all stop telling Michael Jackson jokes starting now.

I'm not tooting my own horn saying I'm some brilliant dude, but I talk about my life on stage and thats that. Whether people like it or not, well who cares. So everyone please STOP!!!

And no more Arnold impressions either.

Matty the hack Goldberg

birthday show
April 7th, 9pm
New York Comedy Club, 24th between 2nd and 3rd